You may or may not know, but I do not have a relationship with my father. It is a long and complicated story, and I won’t get into the details here. Suffice it to say, the last time I wished my father Happy Father’s day was close to 10 years ago, and we haven’t really spoken much since then.
Last year Father’s day was something special. That is when Sox and I learned that Sprout was going to join our family. It was a very surreal day, and not much thought was put towards my own father.
This year was a lot of fun, but it was also hard. I read a bunch of baby-type blog posts about how children celebrated Father’s day, and how much the dad enjoyed that. A little part of me was sad. I missed out on stuff like that when I was growing up and I’m still angry with my father about things like this. I long to have treasured memories such as these.
I realized though, I get to make up for that. Sprout is my son. My family gets to set their own course, and I am not doomed to make the same mistakes as my father. This year begins a new life for me full of new firsts, new traditions, new fun, and new surprises. Observing this brings me great joy. This reminds me that I am in control of my life, and that I control my own fate. It reminded me that I have lots to look forward to with my family.
I plan to remind myself of these thoughts every once in a while. It is important to remember who I am and where I came from, but equally as important to remember that I am my own person.